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Posts from the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

As my vessel pales

As my vessel pales
The screaming hatred
The voices in my head
Mock my synthetic heart
Left in this drama
Fury infects me
Tears become greedy
Wailing to the lonely
Thoughts strangle
And I lie exposed
Frail
Pathetic
Words are cruel
And conceited
As I fall infirm
Into this pool of sacred
Misery
And sink into the despair
That claims
All the lost and lonely
Souls
I scratch the surface
Of the cold walls
Suffocating
I drown in dirt
Bleeding
All the vile memories
Etched in my lifeless
Heart
I shout my pleas
To the empty heavens
But the cruel world
Doesn’t care
That I fade
And as my vessel pales
I blur
To nothing

Written in 2007

Rejection

Through my hell
Skies crumble
Roses turn to stone
And broken glass
Comforts my body
As I lie exposed
And naked
Emotions hide on the top
Of bitter tongues
Shame sickens me
With elegant
Sweet desires
Spirits are scattered
While crows dance
Over their prey
And all the dying
Laugh at
My hollowed eyes
Besotted
I dream of solace
And quiet terror
To mend
The eternal despair
Of my lonely
Heart
As it bleeds
Rejection

Written in 2007

Silencing me

There once was a man
With a devil in his hand
He’d kiss his child goodnight
Then wrap her in a rubber band

He’d wake her in the morning
And slap the elastic on her face
Seems like every single day
This girl would feel out of place

Now if what I say is true
Then I deserve a small token
For words, dreams and nightmares
That this child has never spoken

Now here is the man
With the devil in his hand
He gave me my small token
Then wrapped my tongue
In rubber band

Written in the summer of 1998

Defeated

Like an uneducated clown
I live the day misbehaving
Always waking up in a new part of town
And greeting my world in a rushing daze
I clumsily gamble my life away
And barely survive this dark comedy
I’ve dealt some mistakes away
But the shame still haunts me
I scream louder and louder
But the world always drowns me
I throw my strength in punches
But the power always defeats me
I’m unworthy of forgiven confessions
My dignity drowns in humiliation
Desperately I search for new aspirations
Forgiveness grows in the smallest of wombs
Still the world thought me appalling
Since I’m a woman, a weakling
Who once screamed louder and louder
But the world just drowned me
I threw my strength in punches
Until the power defeated me

Written in 1999.

Cumulonimbus

Les bruits écho du tonnère envahissaient le vaste atmosphere gris
Comme les crescendo des orchestres les plus raffinées
Les coups d’éclair zigzaguée frappaient les grands monuments de bois
Et laissaient tomber quelques branches sur le sol mouillé

La pluis froide fit une grande chaîne de cercle vicieux
Elle troua le sable fin de ma carrière…
Une avalanche d’eau transforme mon château en taudis

Les clous d’eau tombèrent toujours
Fouttèrent ma fenêtre et y brisèrent un carreau
La glace tomba sur mon plancher de ciment
Et produisit un son aiguë et court…

Les nuages gris rôdaient toujours dans le ciel
De nouveau, les bruits écho du tonnère envahièrent le ciel
Et les coups d’éclair frappèrent les grands monuments de bois

Le deluge commença…

Written in 1987.

Puzzle pieces

Lick me
Kiss me
Love me
Adore me
Amazing puzzle
Pieces lying
In the dark
Happy and
Alone

Written in 2007.

Morning song

Tickled moments
Shining
Onto the new dawn
Dear tiny sparrow
Sing for me
Lullabies
Of bright blue
Beginnings

Yours

As I lay with my thoughts
I think of love that cannot be
Numbers go by
Until our lives
Become nothing
The moon is ours
But colors differ
Our oceans part
And our drowning vessels
Cry
For a world that
Reads our stories
Reality is vacant
While dreams
Fill the empty
Void
That is found in
The dark
My heart is stoned
With the sound
Of distant laughter
And all that could be
Is renewed
But my dreams are
Devoured
By the beautiful muse
And the jagged reality
Bleeds me black
My sorrow waits
In the cold future
But for today
I will be nothing
I will be yours

I wrote this in 2007…maybe early 2008.

In death we lived

As the heavens fell
Darkness crushed
The hearts of little children
And life was mowed
To tiny little bits
Scattered and lonely
All the ashes
Cried
For what once was
And the many voices
In our heads
Welcomed us to
A cold vacant home
We floated in
A haze
Of immortal dreams
And from our
Graves
We cried
But tears ran dry
In the depths of
Our hell
And we were but
Forgotten
Having never been
Alive
We screamed
With our weak
Strangled heart
We chocked on our
Bleeding emotions
And flames remained
Scattered
Within fleshly layers
Never to be found again
But the falling heavens
Deceived
And vanquished
Our sins
And from our ashes
We rose
And in death
We lived

I wrote this sometime in 2007, maybe 2008.

Je tombe

I figured that since I posted a song sang in french, I might as well post a poem written in french. This is a rewrite that I did in 1992 from a poem that I had initially wrote in 1988.

Je tombe
J’essaie de monter
De surmonter
Mais, je tombe

Je tombe
Incapable de concentrer
De m’adapter
Car je tombe

Je tombe
Je fait tout pour m’isoler
De me retirer
Car je tombe

Je tombe
Je me sens dépassée
Toute refoulée
Et je tombe

Je tombe
Je ne peut plus monter
L’espérance part
Je suis tombée
Brulée